December 30, 2010

Trying Times

On my birthday, I asked Jordan if he would come with my mom & I to visit Grandma Perkins.
She is currently living in a very nice home that takes very special care with its very special residents.
She shares a room with her 97 year old sister-in-law (my Grandpa's sister), Marva.
We found her in her bed, asleep.
We woke her.
She did not recognize us, or my mom.
We told her about the Christmas program we participated in at church that day.
How Jordan played the piano perfectly for the choir & I turned his pages [perfectly].
We gave her kisses & told her we love her, then slipped outside, leaving her the way we found her.
I visited her five days later, on Christmas Eve.
There was a huge difference though, when each of us walked in the room & greeted her, there was recognition in her face & love in her eyes.
She even managed a few "Merry Christmas's" & "I Love You's."
Mom curled & styled Grandma's hair, like she does every day since the day of her stroke.
As the minutes passed by, her bright eyes & smiles started to diminish & we saw less & less recognition.
She needed to know something though before all recognition was lost.
My Mom knelt on one side of her while my Aunt Diane knelt on the other.  They held her hands, looked in her eyes, & told her that Norman, my uncle, her son, their brother, had lost his battle with cancer & died last night.
As I watched the scene before me unfold, I couldn't help but sit there & cry. 
For Grandma & her frail state.
For my Mom & her loss of both mother & brother.
For Norman's family, who weren't ready to let him go.
On Christmas day, Jordan & I were busy running back & forth between our parents homes & as I ran inside the Shill house after being at the Rogers' for an hour or so, I saw something I hadn't expected.
There in the chair, dressed in a Christmas sweater, was Grandma asleep.
She is difficult to transfer because she can no longer walk or use her right side & I didn't think we would ever see her in my parents home ever again. 
It was good to see her & feel of her love.
Yesterday we celebrated the life of Norman & mourned our loss.
Grandma was not there yesterday.
I noticed her absence.
 I am grateful for the comfort the plan of salvation gives my family & I at times like these.
{Norman at top right in sunglasses.}
{Grandma just over my shoulder.}
I do not know what I would do if I did not believe my family is forever.

1 comment:

Jen Beckstrand said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. This post was so touching and you had my almost in tears. My Grandpa is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. It's such a hard thing to watch someone you love so much go through. Our prayers are with you!